I find myself drawing a blank on what to write. Torn between sadness and anger. I do not know how to express the in-between. I think of some people in my life, and the things they do for me. Things that I would do for them in a heartbeat. Not because they do it for me now, but because that's how I am.
Where am I? What am I doing here? Why haven't I left this treacherous place? When am I going to change this misery? Who is this person that has brought me to this level of failure? How could I have let myself sabotage my life so fiercely? This is not the future I envisioned not to long ago. Yet those days seem millenniums away. Has my slumber in failure been dragged about for such a prolonged time? This wasteful form of release has me feeling disgusted and tortured. Tortured by the very words that I spew on this electronic device! Why can't this phone take my emotions and splatter it on the page. The summation of letters that equal the words that sum up to the sentences and phrases do not seem to suffice for an outlet! This load is to heavy to just drop off somewhere, it's volatile nature is to dangerous to leave around bystanders. Especially those who claim to be innocent. As if such things exist in this world. Even now the innocence of children are rarely seem within them anymore!
I know that a kiss from the lips of the nameless can subside this grave emotional imbalance! The truth is that the kiss is far from the lips that it languishes for! Another day for another chance to break free of these restraints that keep me from the mist of the bliss that your loved fill caresses bring to the flow of my soul! I will save myself. In this world that's who you should count on, am I right? Being dependent on things like love, friends, and family is no longer an option. It's oneself that on must fall back on! They won't wake up and live my life for me! So why should they hold my future in their hands? Although life is full of unexpected events, I suppose love can be put in the back burner till I can afford to make time and space for it! So for the love that will keep my heart warm please understand that I may not see you, but my soul will spot you and hopefully my mind will be able to communicate well with my soul. My heart will surely be in tuned with you (my soul), being that it has such an obsession with you (my soul). My brain seems to want to be in a different page than you (my soul).
That's it, the torn feeling has left me and I no longer have the need to continue this shuffle of miscommunicated emotions and thoughts...
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